Today, I’m diving into one of my most requested coaching topics. It’s something I find to be bubbling from underlying issues from other challenges like retention, finding a great salon, building a clientele, or putting yourself out there on social media. We are talking about increasing self-confidence.
Self-confidence is an issue that most stylists, salon owners, and educators deal with in their careers.
It’s a struggle for all of us on an ongoing basis. A lot of the time we’re so deep in our own heads that we don’t see how great we are. Having a way to reflect and get back to that place where you feel like you can do anything is crucial. So today, I’m going to give you the tools to find your own self-confidence.
Lesson 1: Get to know who you want to be
Not who you are, not where you’re from, not what’s your backstory. Who do you want to be? And deeper than that, who are you destined to be? We’re all meant for incredible things, but most of us hide behind the cards that we were dealt and don’t have the confidence to achieve greatness. I want you to let that go and think about what makes you the happiest.
Think about how you want to be perceived. How do you want people to feel when they walk away from you? Once you have a sense of the impression you want to leave on people, it’ll boost your self-confidence. You will know people walk away from you having the experience you want them to have, whether you talked for 30 seconds or three years. It’s much easier to have the confidence in yourself and know what your next steps should be.
Lesson 2: Dress to impress
Have you heard that one before? It sounds so crazy that a switch of outfit makes us feel more confident and eloquent, but when you know you’re looking your best, you walk with your chin a little bit higher.
If you are stuck in a rut with your style, shake it up a bit. You don’t have to spend a small fortune, but with a few interchangeable key pieces, you’ll be amazed at the magic that happens.
Listen, I know changing style is hard. Shopping isn’t the most fun thing for some of us, and sometimes we dress to conceal certain areas or because we don’t feel confident. I want to challenge you to break that cycle and push yourself. You’ll feel it, your family and clients will feel it, and the shift will happen almost instantly.
Lesson 3: Don’t worry about what other people think
Have you ever been the person in the room thinking you are totally inadequate or you don’t belong? You’re afraid to bring up your idea because it might sound stupid? Or maybe you’ve decided not to take a leap of faith because somebody in your life said it wasn’t a good idea.
Humans are naturally very self-centered. While you’re sitting that room, wondering what they’re thinking about you, they’re not worried about you. They’re thinking about themselves. If you cross their mind, it’s only for two seconds, and then they move on.
At some point, you have to start living for yourself. Nobody looks back on life and wishes they’d sacrificed their happiness and potential to make others happy. This is your life, and you can’t worry about what other people think because it’s you and the choices you make that will get you where you want to go.
Lesson 4: Educate yourself
When in your life do you feel the most confident about any topic? It’s when you know it like the back of your hand. Once you’ve mastered the subject, you’ve got it!
Get out a piece of paper and list of all the situations that make you feel nervous.
Nervous talking to clients? Ask yourself why. Is it because you don’t know what to say? Or that you’re intimidated by them? If you’re intimidated by them, remember we’re not going to worry about what other people think about us anymore. You’re not in their brain; whatever you think they’re thinking about you is an assumption.
Don’t know what to say? Write out 15 go-to questions to run through when working with clients. You probably won’t have to use all of them because, at some point, the conversation will just naturally pick up. All your clients will have a really unique experience, and you won’t be nervous because you’ll have done the work.
Afraid you’ll mess up a haircut? Education is the key. Take the classes you need to feel comfortable behind the chair.
Worried about making a fool of yourself on social media? Learn how to do it right so you’ll feel confident knowing you’re taking the right steps.
Commit to making a list, finding education resources, and tackling what you need to do so you can be 100% confident in every situation.
Lesson 5: Forget the idea that luck exists
Do you ever look at somebody and think that she just got lucky in life? No. She didn’t. She worked for everything she has and, most importantly of all, she believed it was meant to be hers. Her clients probably love her because she worked hard memorizing scripts and studying haircuts until she mastered them, and she believed with every core of her being that it was her destiny to be successful.
Real talk? Most of the successful people I know today came from struggle. They certainly weren’t born lucky, but they had drive and determination, believed in themselves, knew they were destined for amazing things and they made it happen.
Lesson 6: Choose your words wisely.
There is nothing worse than someone staring at you, waiting for you to speak, and you say something that doesn’t make any sense. It is the biggest confidence killer of all time. But if you’re well-spoken, use proper grammar, complete sentences, and a wide vocabulary, it not only makes you feel more confident, but people will listen to you.
Reading will beef up your vocabulary and help your sentence structure flow naturally. If you’re not a big reader, I challenge you to find something that sparks your interest. Just reading sentences formed properly will help improve your natural grammar
.The more you know, the more confident you’ll feel in yourself. Take your time, get the verbiage down, and I promise the confidence in conversation with your guests will be there.
Lesson 7: Smile genuinely and often
If you don’t have any sparkle, that is doomsday. If you aren’t showing your clients a good time, they will leave you. Who wants to hang out with somebody like that?
If your clients don’t walk away from each visit with you thinking that’s the most fun they’ve had all week, you’ve got a huge problem. And that doesn’t mean you have to be a bubbly, peppy cheerleader. But just carrying yourself with happiness and having conversation filled with love and light will make you feel better, give your guest a better experience, and completely change the way you live your day-to-day life.
The world is watching you. It really does make a difference if you’re walking around with your shoulders held back and a soft expression. Part of confidence is perception. And when you smile, the happier and the more confident you seem to the rest of the world. And as soon as the rest of the world starts to perceive you as confident, the sooner you will perceive yourself that way too.